Angel's Craft
Jokes ~ Battle of the Sexes #31
- 40
[31]
"Charlie,
I just won the lottery! Pack your bags!"
"That's
great, honey! Should I pack for the beach, the mountains, or what?"
"Who
cares? Just get out."
____________________________
[32]
Dave
works hard at the plant, puts in a lot of overtime, and then spends most
evenings bowling, playing basketball or working out at the gym. His wife, Mary,
thinks he is pushing himself too hard, so, for his birthday, she takes him to a
local strip club.
The
doorman at the club greets them and says, "Hey, Dave, how ya doing?"
Mary
is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before. "Oh no," says
Dave. "He works out at the gym with me."
When
they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual Budweiser. Mary is
now becoming uncomfortable and says, "You must come here a lot for that
woman to know you drink Budweiser."
"No,
honey, she's in the Ladies Bowling League. We share lanes with them."
A
stripper comes over to their table and throws her arms around Dave. "Hi
Davey," she says, "want your usual table dance?"
Mary,
now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club. Dave follows and spots
his wife getting into a cab. Before Mary can slam the door, Dave jumps in
beside her. Right away she starts screaming at him.
The
cabby turns his head and says, "Looks like you picked up a real witch
tonight, Dave."
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[33]
“Don't
bug me!” she yelled at him, “I am running out of patience!”
“Go
to the hospital,” he said, “they have lots of patients there.”
____________________________
[34]
A
man said to his wife, "You know, I feel ten years younger after I shave in
the morning."
"Did
you ever think of shaving before going to bed?" she responded.
____________________________
[35]
Wife: Let's go out and have some fun tonight.
Husband: Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave
the hallway light on.
____________________________
[36]
What
must a woman do when a man is running around in circles?
Reload
and carry on shooting.
____________________________
[37]
My
husband came home with a tube of KY jelly and said, "This will make you
happy tonight."
He
was right.
When
he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it all over the doorknobs. He couldn't
get back in.
____________________________
[38]
What
takes longer to make - a snowman or snowwoman?
The
snowman, because you have to hollow out the head first.
____________________________
[39]
"It's
just too hot to wear clothes today." Jack said as he stepped out of the
shower.
"Honey,
what do you think the neighbours would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"
"Probably
that I married you for your money," she replied.
____________________________
[40]
What
do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A
rumour.
____________________________
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