Angel's Craft
COMPUTERIZED AUTOMOBILES
At a computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates
reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and
stated: "If GM had kept up with
the technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00
cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors SHOULD
HAVE issued a press release stating: "If GM had developed technology
like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following
characteristics:
For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash
twice a day.
Every time they repainted the lines in the road,
you would have to buy a new car.
Occasionally your car would die on the freeway
for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all
of the car windows, shut it off, restart it, and reopen the windows before you
could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.
Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left
turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you
would have to reinstall the engine.
Only one person at a time could use the car
unless you bought "CarNT," but then you would have to buy more seats
Macintosh would make a car that was powered by
the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive ~ but
would only run on five percent of the roads.
The oil, water temperature, and alternator
warning lights would all be replaced by a single "General Protection
Fault" warning light.
New seats would force everyone to have the same
sized butt.
The airbag system would ask "are you
SURE?" before deploying.
Occasionally, for no ! ! reason whatsoever, your
car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted
the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
GM would require all car buyers to also purchase
a deluxe set of Rand McNally Road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they
neither need nor want them. Attempting
to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish
by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the
Justice Dept.
Every time GM introduced a new car, car buyers
would have to learn to drive all over again because none of the controls would
operate in the same manner as the old car.
You'd have to press the "Start" button
to turn the engine off.
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WHY YOU MIGHT WANT TO SIGN OFF AND READ A BOOK
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