Angel's Craft
BUMPER STICKERS…
About
Cars…
If
that phone was up your butt, maybe you could drive a little better.
Hang
up and drive.
If
you can read this, I've lost my trailer.
Horn
broken ... watch for finger.
If
you're not a Hemorrhoid, get off my Rear.
So
many pedestrians … so little time.
If
you drink don't park, accidents cause people.
Honk
if anything falls off.
Cover
me I'm changing lanes.
He
who hesitates is not only lost but miles from the next exit.
If
you can read this, please flip me back over ... [seen upside down on a jeep]
Remember
folks: Stop lights timed for 35mph are also timed for 70mph.
If
you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you!
Some
people just don't know how to drive. I call these people "Everybody But
Me."
Don't
like my driving? Then quit watching me.
Caution
- driver legally blonde.
Honk
if you've never seen an Uzi fired from a car window.
How
many roads must a man travel down before he admits he is lost?
Boldly
going nowhere.
About
The Sexes …
Impotence:
Nature's way of saying, "No Hard Feelings".
Guys:
No shirt, No service - Gals: No shirt, No Charge.
WANTED:
Meaningful overnight relationship.
Don't
be sexist - witches hate that.
Princess,
having had sufficient experience with Princes, seeks frog.
Coffee,
chocolate, men … some things are just better rich.
Don’t
treat me any differently than you would the Queen.
If
you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.
I’m
out of estrogen – and I have a gun.
So
you're a feminist ... Isn't that precious.
Beauty
is in the eye of the beer holder.
So
many men, so few who can afford me.
GROW
YOUR OWN DOPE - PLANT A MAN.
All
men are animals, some just make better pets.
In
General …
My
hockey Mom can beat up your soccer Mom.
If
at first you don’t succeed … Blame someone else and seek counseling.
It's
not how you pick your nose, but where you put the booger.
You're
just jealous because the Voices are talking to me.
The
Earth is full - go Home!
I
have the body of a God ... Buddha
This
would be really funny if it weren't happening to me.
Cleverly
disguised as a responsible adult.
If
we quit voting will they all go away?
The
face is familiar but I can't quite remember my name.
Eat
right, exercise, die anyway.
Illiterate?
Write for help.
I
refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person.
You!
Out of the Gene Pool!
I
do whatever my Rice Krispies tell me to.
Where
are we going and why am I in this hand basket?
Fight
crime: Shoot back!
If
walking is so good for you, then why does my Mailman look like ‘Jabba The Hud’?
Necrophilia:
that uncontrollable urge to crack open a cold one.
Ax
me about Ebonics
Jesus
loves you ... everyone else thinks you're an asshole.
The
proctologist called, they found your head.
Everyone
has a photographic memory; some just don't have film.
Some
people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
I
used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
Heart
attacks... God's revenge for eating his animal friends
Your
ridiculous little opinion has been noted.
Try
not to let your mind wander. It is too small to be out by itself.
Welcome
to America... Now speak English.
Body
by Nautilus; Brain by Mattel.
Cat:
the other white meat.
If
you can't dazzle them with brilliance, riddle them with bullets.
Money
isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.
Saw
it ... Wanted it ... Had a fit ... Got it!
Thank
you for pot smoking.
Some
people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
I
used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
BEER:
It's not just for breakfast anymore.
God
made us sisters. Prozac made us
friends.
If
they don’t have chocolate in heaven, I ain’t going.
My
mother is a travel agent for guilt trips.
And
your point is?
Courtesy
of Joelle, Odette & Harmony
Would you like to see more Bumper Stickers? Check out Bumper Stickers for Ladies but be advised some
are not suitable for younger people or children.
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