Angel's Craft
WAYS TO COPE WITH STRESS
Jam
miniature marshmallows up your nose and sneeze them out. See how many you can
do at a time.
Find
out what a frog in a blender really looks like.
Spend
all day at a fast food restaurant, seeing how long it will take until your free
refills cost money.
Pay
your electric bill in pennies.
When
someone says "have a nice day", tell them you have other plans.
Make
a list of things to do that you have already done.
Look
around suspiciously in public and tell onlookers about the "little
men."
Buy
a subscription to "Sleazoid Weekly" and send it to your boss's wife.
Put
your toddler's clothes on backwards and send him to pre-school as if nothing is
wrong.
Fill
out your tax form using Roman Numerals.
Tape
pictures of your boss on watermelons and launch them from high places.
Leaf
through "National Geographic" and draw underwear on the natives.
Tattoo
"Out to Lunch" on your forehead.
If
paged, wait until midnight to answer the call.
Construct
an elaborate display of ropes in your backyard and tell your neighbors that
you're a "spider person."
Beep
when a large person backs up.
Insist
on making inanimate objects "dance"
Occasionally
talk into your hand in public.
When
stopped at a traffic light during rush hour, claw desperately at the roof of
the car.
Insist
that someone accompany you to the public rest room because of Henry, the toilet
monster.
While
carpooling, make swervy turns while imitating crash noises.
Insist
that life is "one big musical," then try to prove your theory by
randomly breaking out into song in public.
Go
shopping. Buy everything. Sweat in it. Return it the next day.
Dance
naked in front of your pets.
Pop
some popcorn without putting the lid on.
When
buying a goldfish at a pet store, ask the salesperson how often you should walk
it.
Drive
to work in reverse.
Use
your Mastercard to pay your Visa and vice-versa.
Tell
you boss to "blow it out your mule" and let him figure it out.
When
attending a movie you've already seen, yell out: "Don't let him in! He's
the killer!"
Write
a short story using alphabet soup.
Polish
your car with earwax.
Read
the dictionary upside down and look for secret messages.
Start
a nasty rumor and see if you recognize it when it comes back to you.
Braid
the hairs in each nostril.
Sit
naked on a shelled hard-boiled egg.
Stare
at people through the tines of a fork and pretend they're in jail.
Make
up a language and ask people for directions in it.
Replace
the filling of a Twinkie with ketchup and put it back in the wrapper.
Order
a large drink in a fancy restaurant and try and blow bubbles out your nose with
it.
Do
your assignments in binary code.
Read
the dictionary backwards and look for subliminal messages.
Growl
at people occasionally and then mutter, "I told you to stop doing
that."
Buy
a box of condoms. Ask the cashier where the fitting rooms are, and ask for
help.
Bill
your doctor for time spent in his waiting room.
Courtesy
of Joelle
GETTING EVEN WITH JUNK MAILERS
HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY
THINGS YOU DIDN'T KNOW YOU DIDN'T KNOW
THINGS YOU WOULDN'T KNOW WITHOUT THE MOVIES
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