Angel's Craft
CORPORATE LINGO
Here's
a little clarification of corporate lingo:
COMPETITIVE SALARY:
We remain competitive by paying less than our
competitors.
JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY:
We have no time to train you.
CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE:
We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up
well; a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.
MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED:
You'll be six months behind schedule on your first
day.
SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED:
Some time each night and some time each weekend.
DUTIES WILL VARY:
Anyone in the office can boss you around.
MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL:
We have no quality control.
CAREER-MINDED:
Female Applicants must be childless (and remain
that way).
APPLY IN PERSON:
If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the
position has been filled.
NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE:
We have filled the job. Our call for resumes is
just a legal formality.
SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF
EXPERIENCE:
You'll need it to replace three people who just
left.
PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST:
You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.
REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS:
You'll have the responsibilities of a manager,
without the pay or respect.
GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS:
Management communicates, you, figure out what they
want and do.
I'M EXTREMELY ADEPT AT ALL MANNER OF OFFICE
ORGANIZATION:
I've used Microsoft Office.
I'M HONEST, HARD-WORKING AND DEPENDABLE:
I pilfer office supplies.
MY PERTINENT WORK EXPERIENCE INCLUDES:
I hope you don't ask me about all the McJobs I've
had.
I TAKE PRIDE IN MY WORK:
I blame others for my mistakes.
I'M PERSONABLE:
I give lots of unsolicited personal advice to
co-workers.
I'M EXTREMELY PROFESSIONAL:
I carry a Day-Timer.
I AM ADAPTABLE:
I've changed jobs a lot.
I AM ON THE GO:
I'm never at my desk.
This
background created by me ~ check out AngelBreath Background Designs