Angel's Craft
YOU KNOW YOU'RE GETTING
‘MATURE’ WHEN...
You
and your teeth don't sleep together.
At
the breakfast table you hear snap, crackle, pop and you're not eating cereal.
Your
back goes out but you stay home.
When
you wake up looking like your driver's license picture.
It
takes two tries to get up from the couch.
When
your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.
When
happy hour is a nap.
When
you're on vacation and your energy runs out before your money does.
When
you say something to your kids that your mother said to you and you always
hated it.
When
all you want for your birthday is to not be reminded of your age.
When
you step off a curb and look down one more time to make sure the street is
still there.
Your
idea of weight lifting is standing up.
You
try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren't
wearing any.
It
takes longer to rest than it did to get tired.
You
and your eyes and ears don't sleep together.
Your
memory is shorter and your complaining lasts longer.
Your
address book has mostly names that start with Dr.
You
sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.
The
pharmacist has become your new best friend.
Getting
"lucky" means you found your car in the parking lot.
The
twinkle in your eye is merely a reflection from the sun on your bifocals.
The
twinkle in their eye is merely the sun reflecting off of your head.
It
takes twice as long - to look half as good.
You
can't remember what it was that made you laugh but it sure was funny at the
time.
Everything
hurts, and what doesn't hurt - doesn't work.
You
look for your eyeglasses for half an hour and they were on your head the whole
time.
You
sink your teeth into a steak - and they stay there.
You
give up all your bad habits and you still don't feel good.
You
have more patience, but it is actually that you just don't care anymore.
You
finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.
You
wonder how you could be over the hill when you don't even remember being on top
of it.
You
feel like a cross between the bionic man and an alien impersonating a human
because some of your parts come separate - your hearing, your eyes and your
teeth.
You
know you had something on your mind - you just can't remember what it was.
AGE ACTIVATED ATTENTION DEFICIT DISORDER
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