Dear Santa,
You must be surprised that I'm writing to you today, the 26th of December. Well, I would very much like to clear up certain things that have occurred since the beginning of the month.
Filled with illusion I wrote you a letter and I asked for a bicycle, an electric train set, a pair of roller blades, and a football uniform. I destroyed my brain studying the whole year. Not only was I the first in my class, but I had the best grades in the whole school.
I'm not going to lie to you, there was no one in my entire neighborhood that behaved better than I, with my parents, my brothers, my friends, and with my neighbors. I would go on errands, and even help the elderly cross the street. There was virtually nothing within reach that I would not do for humanity.
Where do you get off leaving me a stinking yo-yo, a stupid whistle and a pair of socks? What the heck were you thinking, you giant fat toad? You've taken me for a sucker the whole blooming year to come out with junk like this under the tree. As if you hadn't disrespected me enough, you gave that little fart across the street so many toys that he can't even walk into his house.
Please don't let me see you trying to fit your big fat butt down my chimney next year. I'll screw you up. I'll throw rocks at those stupid reindeer and scare them away so you'll have to walk back to the freaking North Pole, just like what I have to do now since you didn't get me that blasted bike.
SCREW YOU SANTA. Next year you'll find out how bad I can be, you FAT TUB OF LARD.
Sincerely,
Little Johnny
Courtesy of Joelle
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