AS I MATURE
What I have learned as I mature
I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.
I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just buttheads.
I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.
I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better have a big weenie or huge boobs.
I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others ~ they are more screwed up than you think.
I've learned that you can keep puking long after you think you're finished.
I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.
I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of money to take its place.
I've learned that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get arrested and end up in the paper.
I’ve learned that menopause is not something to be feared ~ it’s a time you should cherish.
I’ve learned that no matter how hard you try you just can’t seem to get across the road to the greener grass.
I’ve learned that no matter how smart you think you are ~ there is always someone smarter.
I’ve learned that deodorant and makeup are things that should never be left behind.
I’ve learned that I am young enough to play games and too old to want to.
I’ve learned that patience is a virtue but virtue is something that lacks patience.
I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away.
I've learned to say "F--- 'em if they can't take a joke" in 6 languages.
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