MAMMOGRAM BOOB POEM
For years and years they told me,
Be careful of your breasts.
Don't ever squeeze or bruise them.
And give them monthly tests.
So I heeded all their warnings,
And protected them by law.
Guarded them very carefully,
And always wore my bra.
After 30 years of astute care,
My gyno, Dr. Pruitt,
Said I should get a Mammogram.
"O.K.," I said, "let's do it".
"Stand up here real close" she said,
(She got my boob in line),
"And tell me when it hurts," she said,
"Ah yes! Right there, that's fine".
She stepped upon a pedal
I could not believe my eyes!
A plastic plate came slamming down,
My hooter's in a vise!
My skin was stretched and mangled,
From underneath my chin.
My poor boob was being squashed,
To Swedish Pancake thin.
Excruciating pain I felt,
Within it's vice-like grip.
A prisoner in this vicious thing,
My poor defenseless tit!
"Take a deep breath" she said to me,
Who does she think she's kidding?!?
My chest is mashed in her machine,
And woozy I am getting.
"There, that's good," I heard her say,
(The room was slowly swaying.)
"Now, Let's have a go at the other one".
Have mercy, I was praying.
It squeezed me from both up and down,
It squeezed me from both sides.
I'll bet SHE'S never had this done,
To HER tender little hide.
Next time that they make me do this,
I will request a blindfold.
I have no wish to see again,
My knockers getting steamrolled.
If I had no problem when I came in,
I surely have one now.
If there had been a cyst in there,
It would have gone "ker-pow!"
This machine was created by man,
Of this, I have no doubt.
I'd like to stick his balls in there,
And see how THEY come out.
Courtesy of Joelle
NOTE:
This one is blunt and I have had many comments on it all supporting the accuracy of the mammogram description ~ and what should be done to the inventors of it. It seems many of us have suffered through this experience.
Coincidentally, pver the past several years several doctors have told me that mammograms have not proven to be helpful in saving lives and they said, in point of fact, that many times the machines have created problems. This has also been stated in several magazines. There ya go …..
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