NEW ELEMENTS


Two new additions to the periodic table of chemical elements:

Element Name: MAN
Symbol: XY
Atomic Weight: 180+

Physical properties: Solid at room temperature but gets bent out of shape easily. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. Difficult to find a pure sample. Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as young samples.

Chemical properties: Attempts to bond with WO any chance it can get. Also tends to form strong bonds with itself. Becomes explosive when mixed with KID (Element: Child) for prolonged periods of time. Neutralizes by saturating with alcohol.

Usage: None known. Possibly good methane source. Good specimens are able to produce large quantities on command.

Caution: In the absence of WO, this element rapidly decomposes and begins to smell.


Element Name: WOMAN
Symbol: WO
Atomic Weight: (don't even go there)

Physical properties: Generally round in form. Boils at any thing and may freeze at any time. Melts whenever treated properly. Very bitter if mishandled.

Chemical properties: Very active. Highly unstable. Possesses strong affinity with gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. Volatile when left alone. Able to absorb great amounts of exotic food. Turns slightly green when placed next to a shinier specimen.

Usage: Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of wealth. Probably the most powerful wealth reducing agent known.

Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands.


AN EASY LIFE
ABOUT MEN
BUMPER STICKERS FOR LADIES
BRAIN STRAIN
CATS AND DOGS
CLEVER WOMEN
COMMENTS & THOUGHTS
EVENING CLASSES FOR MEN
HEALTHY LIVING
IMPRESSING THE SEXES
MERMAID'S WISH
MY UNIQUE CHILDREN
RESPONSES TO PICK UP LINES
SECRETS TO A HAPPY MARRIAGE
TWO SIDES TO A STORY
WHY BEER IS BETTER THAN WOMEN
WHY GOD CREATED WOMAN
WHY MEN PEE STANDING UP
WOMEN VERSUS MEN
WORDS WOMEN USE


HUMOUR FOR THE OLDER WOMAN SECTION
DISCLAIMER
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